


The Essence of Being a Catalyst

by RainyTea, ShatteredPrism



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bing #2, Gen, M/M, You could say, alchemy au, good luck yurio, liveloveyoibang, shall set you free, the meet-cute alchemy au, the truth, you're gonna love the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 16:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14312985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainyTea/pseuds/RainyTea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredPrism/pseuds/ShatteredPrism
Summary: catalyst:[noun]- a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.Yuri Plisetsky has a plan. Kind of.But it involves Victor, and it involves Victor distracting Yuuri, who Yuri (undoubtedly) knows has been crushing on Victor for a really, really long time. So long as everything goes to plan, he'll be fine. Yuuri will be fine. And he'll have that position Yuri knows he really wants.Nothing could possibly go wrong.---Written for liveloveyoibang's bing #2!





	The Essence of Being a Catalyst

**Author's Note:**

> Our contribution to the Loveliveyoibang mini-bang/bing event! This was really fun and super cute to write and working with these talented people was incredible! 10/10 would do again. 
> 
> We had two words and two genres to choose from and ultimately we went with "fumes" and "magical realism" - and this was the result: the alchemical meet-cute that will haunt Yuri for the rest of his days. 
> 
> this fic features art by the lovely and super talented ph1chit on tumblr! Go check her out *eyes* 
> 
> Enjoy!

There should be a special branch in hell for this particular department, Yuri thought. He didn’t know which branch, didn’t particularly  _ care, _ per se, but all he knew was he could be in hell and this could be his punishment for existing, maybe, or for the paper plane he magicked with a scroll of flight and tossed out the window last week. 

(It was still flying around the building. Yuri had only seen it land once when the weather turned bad, but as soon as the sun came out it went right back to flying again.) 

Yes, that definitely had to have been it, because now he was sitting in the Head of Marketing’s office and listening to him drone on and one about figures and numbers and attractiveness–but in the eye-catching advertisement sense, thank you, thank god. But he had Yuri on paperwork, and he was… well, Yuri wasn’t quite sure what his new boss was doing. 

He didn’t really care, either, to be honest. 

Yuri looked up from the stack on his desk and glared at the man opposite him. Victor Nikiforov, head of the Marketing department at Feltsman Corporation, supposed Greatest Marketer Alive (according to his grandfather, but from the short time Yuri knew Victor, he couldn’t see how), was focused intently on his laptop, murmuring into his headset about some campaign or other that Yuri knew nothing about (yet, that is). 

Grudgingly, Yuri could admit that the things he’d heard about Victor were really very good. In just the two days he was in this department, he’d seen Victor handle anything and everything from ignored deadlines to misunderstood instructions and would even go so far as to admit that Victor’s work? It was really, really good. He could see why he had the reputation he had. 

But in those two days, he’d also gotten to know Victor’s personality and let it be known here and now that Yuri would never, ever, look up to someone like that. He was loud, obnoxious, and incredibly stupid–he could swoon over something ridiculous for five minutes then in the next be cooing about his stupid dog and his stupid hair and then go on a monologue about his hair products. 

He watched Victor brush his silver fringe from his eyes and curled his lip. 

He needed an out. 

“I’m going to run to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” Yuri pushed back from his desk. Victor eyed him over the top of his computer. 

“All right.” Victor replied, hand curled over the mic on his headset. “Hurry back, I have a job for you.” 

A shiver crawled up Yuri’s spine. 

“Yes. All right.” 

 

* * *

 

Yuri headed down the stairs, and then across the courtyard between the buildings. After all, he hadn’t specified  _ which _ bathroom he was going to. He’d make up an excuse later if he needed to. Once inside the sprawling Research and Development building he hurried past the entrance to the Witchcraft department. (He’d already done a rotation there a few weeks ago and really didn’t want to run in to Georgi, the head witch, and get stuck hearing about the man’s romantic woes.) His goal was at the end of the hall, sectioned off from the rest of the building with a sturdy wall: the Alchemy Department.

Yuri pushed the heavy, blast-proof door open and slipped inside, his nose immediately assaulted by the reek of sulfur and other chemicals. His second rotation of his summer internship had been here, and despite the dull safety lecture he’d had to sit through at the beginning of it he’d really liked it. Alchemy was badass. Mixing stuff together to make potions and sometimes blow things up? Awesome. Definitely the best department in the whole company. It was too bad he couldn’t spend his entire internship here. Even the guy he’d been assigned to work with wasn’t bad, in a loser kind of way.

Speaking of…

“Hi Yurio!” Yuuri Katsuki looked up from the crucible he was working over and waved at Yuri. Yuri hated the nickname that one of the lab assistants had bestowed on him (it’s too confusing to have two Yuris around, she’d said) but he let Yuuri get away with it. He stepped around behind Yuuri so he could peer over his shoulder at what he was doing.

“Is that the Erdmann formula?” Yuri asked.

“Um, sort of. I’m trying a variation to see if it works.” Yuuri sifted a small amount of glittering powder into the bubbling mixture and watched carefully. In seconds the whole mess turned green, then solidified. Yuuri turned off the burner underneath. “Just gotta let it cool down, and then I can run some tests,” he said. He pushed the goggles up off his face, messy black hair sticking up in clumps, and turned to Yuri. “I added powdered diamond to the formula to see if it would make it more stable.”

“That’s, like, a really good idea,” Yuri said. “I still don’t know why you’re not the head of this department.”

Yuuri shrugged, turning away to clean up the work bench. “Yeah, I guess it’s just not really for me,” he said quietly. “I tried for a promotion a year ago, but I messed it up. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Pfft, you’re way better than that Celestino guy, and anyway I heard he’s retiring soon. You should apply for his position.”

“We’ll see,” Yuuri said, but he didn’t look very confident. He turned back to Yuri, putting a smile on. “Anyway, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be working over in Administration this week?”

“Marketing,” Yuri said. “And it’s really boring. I can’t stand this Victor guy they’ve got me working with.

“Victor? You mean Victor Nikiforov?” Yuuri blushed and suddenly looked flustered. “Um, I’ve heard he’s really good. Like, the best. A living legend.”

Yuri snorted. “Yeah, a living legend of bad puns, maybe. And don’t get him started talking about his dog.”

“He has a dog?” Yuuri’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah, some dumb poodle. Dogs are so dumb. Cats are way better.” He said the last part almost automatically, but he noticed the way Yuuri was looking starry-eyed at the talk about Victor. Yuri wasn’t stupid. He could tell when someone had a crush, and it looked like Yuuri had a big one. Ugh, whatever.

Yuri rolled his eyes and took a peek at a flask nearby. Some sort of violet liquid surged from one side of the flask to the other as though it contained the full force of the sea, waves surging through the current to hit the sand barrier on the other side. “Anyway,” he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “you should definitely apply this time. If anyone should get it, it should be someone who’s at least not horrible.” 

“Wow,” Yuuri drawled, but there was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “Thanks, Yurio.” 

“I mean it.” Yuri looked at him over his shoulder. “If JJ gets it, I’ll never talk to you again.” 

“Sure.” There was that smile again, damning and irredeemable, as Yuuri took a look at the philosopher's stone on the examination table beside them, holding it up to the witchlight above their heads. His unruly hair popped out haphazardly from around his goggles when he ran his fingers through. Yuri had this sudden urge to... Well, he didn’t know, but his face got warmer. 

Yuri turned hurriedly back to the concoction in front of them and peered into the mass. He could still feel the heat from the mixture but it wasn’t as hot as before, cooled considerably by the vent under the table. 

“You have a smudge on your face.” Yuri grumbled, pointedly not looking at Yuuri when he said it. “You look stupid.” 

“Oh?” Yuuri wiped his cheek with the back of his hand and blinked at the smudge of green dust on his wrist. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah. Anyway tell me about this. What’s the plan.” 

“It’s like I said; we’re going to test it. You know we’ve been trying to find more stable variations for years. Want to watch?” 

“Uh– _ yes. _ ” Yuri snatched the goggles that Yuuri was holding out and pulled them right over his eyes. The world fell away to a green, filtered haze and Yuri could even see the small sparkles that floated high above their heads, the familiar creatures only visible through the lenses. 

Yuuri took a flute full of yellow oil–Earthroot oil, Yuri remembered, a neutral solution–from a collection of flutes with a pair of tongs and brought it over. With his other hand he took a titanium thermometer from the table and pushed it into the solidified mass. What Yuri had thought was completely solid turned out to actually be porous, rubbery like a sponge; the thermometer went in. 

“Room temperature.” Yuuri said. Something scratched behind him, and when he turned to look, Yuri saw it was a fountain pen scribbling notes on a leatherbound journal, floating in the air as it waited for Yuuri to continue. “Interesting. That cooled off quickly.” 

“Should it not have?” Yuri asked. 

Yuuri pursed his mouth. Even with his goggles back over his eyes, his hair was still wild and all over the place. “That’s always hard to say. It should’ve, it shouldn’t’ve. One way to find out, though.” He pulled the thermometer out and glanced at Yuri, hand poised to turn the solution over. “Ready?” 

Yuri wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting. An explosion, maybe, or a sudden implosion of dust and glitter. It’d happened before. But he definitely didn’t expect  _ mushrooms _ to sprout where Yuuri had poured the solution. 

“What.” 

“Huh.” Yuuri adjusted his goggles and squinted at the now empty flute, turning it this way and that with the tongs. “Interesting.” 

“You just. It sprouted mushrooms.” Yuri blinked at him. “Why in the hell are you trying to sprout mushrooms? And what the hell was in that flute? That was Earthroot oil right?” 

“I wasn’t. And yes it was.” Another soft smile slowly sprouted over Yuuri’s mouth. “But it seems adding Earthroot oil to this mixture creates immediate side effects–and it’s not supposed to be a catalyst.” 

Yuri’s mouth dropped.

“We’ll still need to run more tests, of course,” Yuuri put the empty flute back where he found it and wiped one lens on his goggles with his gloves, “and see how long these side effects last, and try to replicate this again, but I think we’re onto something here, Yurio.” 

“You really,  _ really  _ have to apply for that promotion. I’ll kick your ass if you don’t.”

* * *

 

Later that night, as he was having dinner with his grandpa, Yuri kept thinking about Yuuri and how brilliant he was. He really did deserve to be Head Alchemist, but Yuuri said he wasn’t even going to apply for the position this time. “I guess I lack confidence,” he’d said.

“That’s bullshit,” Yuri muttered through a mouthful of potatoes.

“What was that, Yuratchka?” Nikolai asked from across the table.

“Um, nothing, sorry,” Yuri said, swallowing. “It’s just, there’s this guy at work, and he’s really smart and should be running his department but he won’t even try for a promotion any more. He says he doesn’t have enough confidence.” He slammed his fork down on the table. “I just want to help him, but he won’t listen to me.”

“Yuratchka, you can’t force results,” Nikolai said. “All you can do is support your friend. Try to find ways to boost his confidence, but don’t be pushy.”

“Boost his confidence…” Yuri repeated thoughtfully. Then it hit him. “Yeah, that’s a great idea! Thanks, Grandpa! Um, can I be excused? There’s something I want to research.”

“Finish your sausage,” Nikolai said, smiling indulgently at his grandson, “and then you can go.”

 

* * *

 

The next day at work Yuri pondered on how to put his plan into action. Most of the ingredients for the potion he’d looked up on the internet last night were easy enough to get, except for one. Essence of Mandragora. The only place he knew to get it was right here, in the Alchemy department, but it was kept in a locked cabinet and he was sure that Yuuri wouldn’t let him have any, at least not without a good excuse. (And “I want to make a potion to use on you to boost your confidence so you’ll apply for that promotion” probably wouldn’t work.) He could probably just steal a vial of the stuff, but not with Yuuri right there watching. What he needed was a distraction.

“Good morning, Yura!” Victor sang out as he walked into the office. Ugh. Why did that guy always have to be so cheerful? Yuri tried to turn back to the marketing numbers he was supposed to be studying, only to get knocked out of his chair by something big, fluffy, and brown. 

“What the hell?” he yelled, startled.

“Oh, sorry, I brought Makkachin to work with me today! Wow, she really likes you!”

“Get this damn thing away from me,” Yuri snapped, trying to push the enthusiastically wiggling dog off of him.

“Aww, so mean Yura. She just wants to be your friend!” Victor pouted but took Makkachin by the collar and pulled her back.

“Well, she’s too much of a distraction,” Yuri said, climbing to his feet. “Just keep her on your side of the office, okay?” He sat back down and glared at where Victor was now talking nonsense words to his dog in a sing-song voice. Hang on…

A distraction. Perfect.

“Hey Victor,” Yuri said, “I almost forgot. Mila came by earlier and said you were supposed to go see something in the Alchemy department.”

“Really?” Victor said, looking up. He put a finger to his lips thoughtfully. “I don’t think I’ve ever even visited that department. Why would they need me there?”

Yuri shrugged. “Dunno. She said it was important, though, and you need to go right away.” He stood up from his desk. “I’ll show you where it is. I’m sure it’s fine if you bring the dog, too.”

“Okay!” Victor bounced to his feet and followed Yuri out of the office.

 

* * *

 

Operation: Get Yuuri Lucky was now, officially, in effect. 

Wait. The revulsion Yuri experienced right then was legendary as he backtracked right out of that thought.

Operation: Steal Essence of Mandragora was now, officially, in effect. 

Victor chattered aimlessly as they made their way into the Alchemy department, and it was only because of Yuuri that Yuri didn’t try to strangle his boss in the first place. 

“Wow!” Victor gasped when they passed a line of bubbling beakers, taking in the towering expanse of the room and all its properties–like the floating tomes, for instance. “How magical!” 

“Oh my god.” Yuri wheezed. He needed to find Yuuri, and immediately, before he’d need Otabek to help him drag a dead body.  

It didn’t take too long; a quick inquiry to Leo led Yuri and Victor both to the center of the department. Yuuri was bent between two textbooks over a crucible, where he was pouring a pale purple liquid into its depths. A faint puff of smoke surged from the concoction bubbling within. Yuuri wiped his brow and pushed up his goggles, leaning over a textbook to watch the fountain pen write down his observations. 

Victor inhaled a sharp breath but Yuri was already in motion, propelling forward. “Yuuri!” 

Yuuri turned around and his eyes bulged wide, the neck of the flask slipping through his fingers. A ragged gasp tore from his throat as he fought to catch it, finally connecting with the lip of the flask between his fingers just inches above the floor. 

_ “Yurio.”  _ Yuuri hissed, face already dark with a blush.  _ “Whatareyoudoing.” _

Yuri ignored him, holding out a hand instead to introduce Victor. “Yuuri, this is Victor, my… boss. Head of Marketing, or whatever.” 

Victor was staring at Yuuri, completely oblivious to what Yuri said, but Yuri, once again, wasn’t stupid. He saw that shine in those eyes. This may have been a monumental mistake. 

“Yuuri,” Victor said, drawing the name out in what he probably thought was a seductive purr, “I am absolutely  _ charmed  _ to meet you.” God, Yuri thought, old people are so embarrassing.

“Um, yes, likewise, um,” Yuuri stammered, “I mean, it’s nice to meet you, too.” The two idiots just stared at each other for a few moments, until Victor’s dog wormed her way in between them, begging for attention.

“Oh! And this is Makkachin,” Victor said, beaming. “I hope you like dogs, Yuuri.”

Yuuri laughed, all his awkwardness falling away as he knelt down to pet the dog. “I love dogs,” he said, actually letting the filthy beast lick his face. Yuck.

Victor knelt down too, and soon the two were yammering away about their stupid dogs. “Um, I’m… Yeah, I’ll just be over here.” Yuri said, edging away from the trio. Well, at least Yuuri was distracted. Now all Yuri had to do was unlock the cabinet and get what he needed.

Luckily most of the other employees were busy with their own tasks, so nobody noticed him sneaking over to the array of cabinets and shelves on the far wall where all the various reagents and potions were kept. He quickly zeroed in on the cabinet he wanted and unlocked it with a handy little spell he’d learned during his rotation in the Witchcraft department (probably the only useful thing he’d learned there). Yep, there it was, Essence of Mandragora, on the highest shelf. Yuri only needed a couple of drops for the potion he wanted to make, so he nabbed an empty vial off a nearby table and stood up on his tiptoes to grab the heavy glass bottle. He almost had his fingers on it when–

“Yurio? What are you doing?” He turned to see Yuuri looking curiously at him, Victor and his dog standing behind.

“Huh? Oh, nothing, just getting some, um…” As he wracked his brain for an explanation, he turned too quickly and knocked a flask off the shelf. He and Yuuri both dove for it, trying to grab it before it hit the floor but they were too late. Just before it hit the concrete floor and smashed into a thousand pieces Yuri thought he saw the words “Truth Potion: Extra-Concentrated” on the label.

Oh crap.

The three of them stood there for a moment, staring at the shattered glass as the fumes began to rise and spread through the room.

“We should probably evacuate,” Yuuri said. He turned to Victor. “I’m so sorry about this, we really should have better safety precautions in place and I’ve had a crush on you ever since I started with this company.” Yuuri’s eyes went wide as he said it, and he slapped his hands over his mouth.

“You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life,” Victor said, a bemused look on his face. “I’m going to ask you to marry me.”

“I’m going to say yes,” Yuuri replied through his fingers.

 

 

“Shut up shut up shut up!” Yuri yelled. “This is all my fault because I just wanted to make a potion to boost Yuuri’s confidence so he would apply for the department head position, because he’s super-awesome and really talented and I just want him to be my friend!”

“Really?” Yuuri gasped between his fingers. “Yurio, is that why you brought Victor here?”

“Yes.” Yuri groaned, “I thought Victor would be a great way to distract you.” 

“I’m not sure how to feel about that,” Victor leaned forward and took Yuuri’s hand, fingers curling delicately around his palm as he brought it to his mouth, “as clearly you’re the one that’s distracting me.” He kissed Yuuri’s knuckles. 

“Oh.” Yuuri wheezed. 

“NO.” Yuri gasped, “No, no  _ nononono  _ STOP. That’s not the plan!”

“Your mouth feels really nice.” Yuuri said behind his fingers, eyes darting anywhere but at a grinning Victor. 

Yuri clamped the swell of outrage that threatened to expel from his throat in a terrifying shriek behind his palm and rushed out, tugging on Victor’s sleeve as he made a mad dash for the exit. He had to get out and he had to do it immediately before the fumes from the truth potion made things even worse.

A plume of smoke ballooned out of the department with a flurry of fluttering tomes and keys and everyone inside ran out, coughing truth and unable to hold back the little white “I’m fine”s. The alarm siren was blaring, rolling a bright white light through every tune of its horn. 

Yuri heaved for fresh air but then  _ words  _ tumbled out of his mouth and, “I didn’t come here to get you two together, I wanted you two distracted! Stop that with the eyes! Stop!”

Yuuri wiped the sweat off his brow and ran his fingers through his hair, inhaling deep now that they were out of the truth fumes. “But Victor is beautiful, Yurio, and it’s always been difficult for me to look away.” 

“Yuuri!” Victor gasped delightedly. 

Yuri had to clap his hand back over his mouth again, even going so far as to talk fast into his hand so certain  _ words  _ wouldn’t be understood. He’d never live that down. 

“We need to be careful until the potion wears off, that was a powerful one.” Yuuri looked pointedly at Yuri. “Yuri... I know you were trying to help me but I’m not going to apply, no matter how much I want to because I really, really want to. I want that position so bad.”

“I want to kiss you.” Victor said suddenly, but not quite out of nowhere.

“I want to ask you out.” Yuuri smiled, face so red it was making Yuri red, too. 

“I’m going to say yes.” Victor replied with a pearly white grin. “But only if you apply for that position.”

Yuri threw up his hands. 

 

* * *

  
_ Two weeks later... _

Swish. Splat. Scrub. Repeat.

Yuri sighed, pausing for a moment in his work. This was his punishment for causing what had come to be known as “the Truthpocalypse” among the employees of the Feltsman Corporation. Two weeks spent cleaning  _ all _ the floors in the building, the old-fashioned way. With a bucket and a mop.

Really, the work wasn’t all that bad, mostly just boring. (Except for when he had to clean the Magical Beasts department. Manticore crap stuck to the floor like cement and you could not get that stink out of your clothes, no matter how many times you washed them.) At least his punishment was almost over, so he could go back and finish his rotation in the Marketing department. Wait. Maybe he could volunteer to keep cleaning the floors instead.

“Hi Yurio!”

Yuri looked up to see Yuuri Katsuki, A.K.A. the new Head Alchemist, entering the lobby. Yuri dipped his mop in the bucket again and slapped it on the floor. He was happy for Yuuri getting the promotion, he really was, but did he have to be so damn cheerful? And then there was the other consequence from the truth potion…

“Yuuri! There you are. Are you ready for our date, my love?” Victor came skipping down the steps with a goofy grin on his face, and literally  _ swept  _ Yuuri into his arms, giving him a big kiss.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go,” Yuuri laughed. How he could stand that ridiculous oaf was beyond Yuri, but at least they seemed to be happy. Yuri sighed and kept scrubbing at the floor, trying to ignore them.

“Oh hi Yurio, I didn’t see you there!” Victor said with a chuckle. “How’s the new job going?”

“Fine. Fantastic. Couldn’t be happier.”

“Come on Victor, we’re going to be late for the theater,” Yuuri said, tugging on Victor’s sleeve.

“Oh, of course. See you later, Yurio!” Victor called out as they headed for the doors. “Oh, and I think you missed a spot over there.”

Yuri wondered how much trouble he’d get in for dumping an entire bucket of dirty mop water over the head of the director of Marketing.


End file.
